It has been reported that on August 22nd, Paul Ryan, Vice Presidential nominee, fitness fan and former personal trainer, told radio talk show host Hugh Hewitt that he, Ryan, had once run a “Two-hour-fifty-minute-something” marathon.
A few days later Ryan admitted that he had not run 26 miles in less than three minutes and, in fact, had never done it in less than four. He said all this in a statement his campaign released in an attempt to get ahead of this marathon time tidal wave before someone attaches the suffix “gate” to it.
I don’t know much about Paul Ryan or his politics (sorry, but I have this pesky life that gets in the way). Seems like a guy in a shirt, and that’s fine. After reading about this whole he-never-ran-a “two-hour-fifty-minute-something” marathon, I do know one thing about Paul Ryan: he lies.
And that means we have something in common.
Not all of us lie for personal gain or to make ourselves look better, stronger, more acceptable and (Dare I say it?) Vice-Presidential, but make no mistake about it - we all bend the truth.
How many did you get on that hole?
Do I look fat in this skirt?
Is your homework done?
Besides hair, the main difference between me and Paul Ryan is that when I lie, Runner’s World Magazine is not usually involved. That’s a quick way to distinguish regular folks from the poor fools who run for popular political office – nobody particularly cares that we didn’t score 1200 on our SAT’s, although we’ve been bragging about it since 1988. When Paul Ryan pumped himself up by shaving more than an hour from his PBT, runners took to the social media to hang him by his P90X.
Within 24 hours, Runner’s World Magazine’s online site had a fully researched history of the Wisconsin Congressman’s split times. They forced an apologetic statement that in part explained Ryan’s brother had Narc’d him out at the dinner table, reminding Ryan that he’d never broken four minutes and he, the brother, had.
That sort of action is why some brothers go years without speaking.
The man who would be Vice-President is not the first candidate to lie about his ability to go long quickly. ESPN tattled on Presidential candidate John Kerry a few years ago after Kerry told a stiff and boring story about running in the Boston Marathon. Someone with nothing else to do but look up race results found no proof of him running.
Once again, I don’t know much about John Kerry or his politics (Sorry. Life. Pesky.) What I learned from this event is there are way too many people working at ESPN and, less importantly, that John Kerry had lied.
Just like the rest of us.
As you might imagine, after learning that Paul Ryan has never run a sub-three hour marathon (as he bragged) I can’t consider voting for the Mitt Romney ticket. Although his running mate did not run a “two-hour-fifty-minute-something” race, the Runner’s World expose revealed that he has, indeed, completed several marathons.
Someone with too much time and not enough to do at Runner’s World found proof.
He ran a couple of marathons.
I can’t vote for that kind of guy.
He’s obviously crazy.