Friday, May 31st and Saturday, June 1st I will be fliming my first DVD special GUYFALL at Latitude 40 in Robinson. I will be recording the stand-up material I've spent the last few years performing around the city and across the country. I really hope you guys can come out and be a part of it! There are only 2 shows (9:00 PM Friday, 9:00 PM Saturday) and its a pretty small room so get your tickets soon.
Click HERE to purchase tickets.
Last week the Cake Boss gave away 10,000 Cake Boss Cakes in Market Square. The cakes were free. There ended up being multiple fights and one idiot actually stole four cakes. He stole 4 free cakes. On top of that being completely unneccassary, you never bite the hand that feeds you. Especially if that hand is feeding you free cake and that hand belongs to the Cake Boss. He is a don in the desert Mafia. This guy better get out of town.
DOUGLAS MURRAY IS THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD!
The Pens picked up Douglas Murray from the San Jose Sharks yesterday. Here are some particulars: He's 6'3 245 lbs of pure Swedish horse meat.
He's a lousy Massage Therapist
But when it comes to hitting people, he's pretty good at that.
Oh and he banged Tiger's ex Elin Nordegren after a dinner date at Mr. Chow in Miami on Dec. 7, according to New York Daily News.
And he invented UBERTAP: A 3 tap device for a keg, powered by a hydraulic foot-pedal. This guy is amazing.
Also, if you haven't browsed the full gallery, ITS A MUST!!!!!! Click HERE
Last night were the 85th Academy Awards.
Here are some of my best tweets. Follow me on Twitter @dveBillCrawford
Less than a year ago there was a story that emerged after Tim Tebow gave an Easter Sermon at a Church in Texas. The Church released the statement "In Christianity its the Pope and Tim Tebow right now."
That was the basis for this discussion.
This is the worst idea involving Steven Seagal since Warner Brothers decided to green light Fire Down Below.
I know this sounds like a fake news story, but I promise its real.
According to a sheriff’s office press release, “ Instructors from the Sheriff’s Office SWAT division as well as certified instructor/actor/posse volunteer Steven Seagal will lead the all-day training exercises on various aspects on shooting scene management including room entry tactics and hand to hand tactics.”
At this point, I would'nt be surprised if the Sheriff announced his plans to employ Chuck Norris to guard the Arizona Border.
School shootings scare the sh#@ out of me as a parent and it seems like they are happening with more and more frequency. We definitely need to have conversations about what we can do to figure out a solution to this growing problem, but I don't think soliciting an over-the-hill actor turned reality star is the direction we should go in. There has to be a better idea than having the guy who's debut movie was titled ABOVE THE LAW protect our kids. That would be like hiring The Terminator to deliver a speech at a Pro-Life rally.
I think what we all want is for the killing to stop.
I don't know if you've ever seen a Seagal movie, but he kills EVERYBODY. Trains explode, ships sink, night clubs are destroyed. He never kills with a clean sniper shot either; he makes a real mess. He kicks someone through a wall, breaks their back over his knee then throws them down an elevator shaft, where they fall to their death and get impaled. (kill scene from Marker for Death)
On his A&E Reality Show Lawman, he actually brought a tank to cock fight! I can't think of a better metaphor for this situation.
click here for the LA Times article.